I don't like this feeling

I never have

all I want is to hold my breath and to feel surrounded by water

I want to hear that silence

I'm annoyed by how annoyed I am right now

I hate going from a state of comfort to uncertainty

I miss having someone to just listen to me say nothing at all

I love the affect she has on me

I wonder does she know

What I like most is the fact that these are just words from her..I've yet to experience her actions in her presence..

nah she couldn't possibly know

I haven't eaten all day..

and I feel weak

but I don't feel like moving

maybe if I turn up the volume

it'll make me get up

but then i'll have to think

and I don't want to

so i'll probably just sit here

swaying my head back and forth

to the music

that's suppose to take my mind off you.

"Come through and arouse you every morning like the sun do

If you blackout and collapse I want to help you to come to

Notice I haven't yet got into what I want from you

I want you to come to when I come through

and make you shine like the sun do

I want you to be the valley for my river to run through

You're everything, you send your soul through your lips to my heart

Sweet music will start I want you to be the music of my art"...

never again.....

after its all said and done

life goes on...

why can't I be enough for you?
these arms, my hands
they are all extensions of my very being that want to hold you
I am so much more than this body
there are no smiley faces, or lol's to place behind these words
see you're never really alone
every dream. thought. wish. want. need. desire. is about you
every step I take is towards you
every word that is written is meant for you
if it's my swift entry that concerns you
then you should know, it is only because I could not wait any longer
and my departure from you does not exist
and if my mind could confess to you
it would direct you to my heart;
that stops and starts at the very thought of you
there is no definition
to explain this
no questions to ask
or answers to give
only simple or complex as we make it
take it for what it is
I want to take you to levels that you've never imagined
beautiful, gorgeous
are all words you've heard before
see I want more for you
resplendent, pulchritudinous
are just letters combined to form a glimpse of what you are
I am so much more than these words read from a screen
I am this life, that wants to be shared
I want to explore you
from the top of your head
to the bottom of your feet
every fear that you have, share it with me

and if I'm your last option

or no option at all

I'll still be here

because I'd rather have a small part of you

than nothing at all....

-I'm fully aware that with this I could lose you, and as much as that thought scares me..the thought of not telling you scares me even more. I somehow find beauty in realizing that we sometimes have no control of what we feel, or who we feel it for. I can't make you feel the same way for me, but I suppose there's beauty in that as well..

It's midnight

I'm officially 25

I decided to come outside and make a wish

star light, star bright,
first star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
have this wish I wish tonight.

Well Hello October

In 3hrs I'll be turning 25

and I couldn't be more excited..

I remember walking through the airport

my suitcase getting increasingly annoying by the minute

my eyes begin to search for you amidst the sea of people

I'm starting to get upset

I had told you my arrival time

I needed to see your face, I needed to feel that someone was happy to see me

I find a seat in the back and wait for you

I watch as people hurriedly jump into taxis, and cars trying to get away from the bitter cold

I feel a tap on my shoulder

It's you

You looked so beautiful

but I don't say it

I should have smiled

I wanted to

but I was upset

I wanted..no needed you to know that.

I give you a light hug, you grab my bag

and we make our way over to the doors

I wanted to tell you all about my flight

how I slept the entire way

but I don't say a word

we board the bus

you sit on one side

I sit on the other

I watch you out the corner of my eye

what were you thinking?

I don't want to be mad anymore

but it's to late

the bus stops

we get off

we silently make our way to my apartment

the sound of the luggage against the pavement seems so loud

I want to grab you from behind

I'm sorry

You begin to search for the keys

I stop you

and I tell you how much I've missed you, and how I never want to leave again

you smile

and ask what I'd like for dinner

I politely say

You.

- It would of been nice to know that then. Nevertheless it's nice to finally know how you truly felt then. Your page is very interesting...i wonder who the other ones pertain to?...haha...just wondering. I'm sure they're for someone special.

-even after all this time..I still don't think you truly get me...we were so alike..yet so different.....either way..I wanted you to know..

Dear Nikkii

It was here at this exact moment

that I knew... i knew

it wasn't all in vain

It can be so hard to convey what your heart knows

to a mind that thinks only logic

I wish I had all the answers for you

I want to make it perfect

I say this all not to scare you

but for you to truly see

what I'm saying

or trying to at least

I find you extremely complex

and I mean that in the nicest of ways

at first glance you see this beautiful face

but then you know

there is so much more behind those eyes

and for some reason it makes me sad

not because I think you're sad

but because I'll spend the rest of my life

wondering....what it was that made you so different...so special..that not even I could put my finger on it..

everyone has a story, however short, long, complex, simple, funny, sad, exciting, or boring

and there is no other way for me to say this

I just want to know yours.

I'm so afraid that this might come off as intrusive, or invasive

but I'm just speaking from what I feel

I'm not asking to be a friend

in fact I'm not really sure what I'm asking

because I've reread this 5 times and deleted it 5 times and I'm still not sure

but what I do know is

I want to be there

even if its just to listen.

- I wrote this about a month ago..I kept it up for maybe 3 days, I always wondered if you ever got the the chance to read it..

Dear Me,

You really scare me sometimes, you can get so wrapped up in your thoughts, that you sometimes lose sight of what it is you're truly after. Go slow, take your time, if its for you, then it will happen, and if its not, then move on you tried. Your heart is so massive, you expect others to feel exactly how you do, but they all won't, some will love more, others less. You just have to learn how to accept it. You tend to allow your fantasies, and your reality to combine, just remember how to balance the two. You allow your written words to sometimes do all the talking, just remember some things are better spoken. You worry about exposing yourself to others, don't worry there are some who can relate. Stop disappearing on me, I'm only here to help you, but you have to let me in. You sometimes feel your world is ending, and that no one else can understand, but believe me there are some that do. You hate how intense you are, and you wish you didn't care as much, never change that, you'll one day meet someone who will love you for it . Don't push people away that love you, yes you might get your heart broken, but I can assure you it will mend. Stop underestimating yourself you are a true gift, even if no one else in this world ever tells you. You're sometimes so afraid of growing up, and losing what it is that keeps you dreaming. You look at others, and sometimes wonder why you haven't reached your true potential, don't worry it will come, just enjoy these moments, they won't last forever. Remember summer 09, the beautiful things you saw, the feelings that you felt? Do it again, you never felt so alive.Let go of all the things that hold you back from doing and saying what you really feel, everyone won't understand you, and they might not agree, but it doesn't matter, you owe no one a excuse. Take the time and look at your reflection, I'm sure you will see something you never noticed before. It's ok to cry, there is someone out there crying with you. Stick to your beliefs, you should always stand for something. Take the time to look others in the eyes, and never forget to touch them with yours. Tell them how you feel, they might not feel the same way, but they'll never forget what you told them. Take deep breaths, and close your eyes, I'll always be here. Do you hear that? That's your heart telling you to live, and let go. I will love you forever and always..

Sincerely,

Nikki H

In the beginning-

We meet. Our eyes connect from across the room, I don't know it yet, but you will change my life forever.We talk for hours, about how we never want to be like the rest of them. You ask if you can walk me home, I say no, but secretly I want you to. You persist so I give in. You tell me your dreams of becoming something unforgettable. I tell you mine, you smile and say we're soul mates. I believe you. You lean over and kiss me goodnight. I wasn't prepared for this, but I'm willing to try, so I let go.

Middle-

We get married. I'm afraid of settling, you promise it will never happen. I believe you. We find a house, its perfect for now. We fill this house with hopes and dreams. I like the way you and I make it feel.We make jokes about the others. We are special, they all think we're crazy, but we don't care. We set goals, we make plans. We talk for hours. You hold me. We tell everyone our plans, they laugh. We assure each other. You begin to doubt, but I won't..I can't. You get comfortable. My once lovely traits begin to annoy you. Time goes on, I begin to panic. You assure me, I calm down. I want to dance, but you're not in the mood. I begin to pack, you sit back and watch. I still believe. I begin to lose myself, I need something more. You're not around, I need comfort..I seek it. I'm confused. I don't know how to feel. We talk less. I bother you, I'm left with my own thoughts. I begin to hate this house. I'm desperate, I can't take it anymore. You beg me to stay. I do for you.

End-

We are strangers. Someone I once knew, has now become just like them. I begin to resent you for it all. I blame you. This was not suppose to happen. I hate myself. You seek comfort. I pretend not to notice, or maybe I don't care anymore. We barely talk, touch, hold. I scare you, I scare myself. I've given up. You laugh as though we're happy. When did I lose you? I'm fading. I have to find a way out. I wonder if its to late. I assure you everything is ok, you smile and leave for work. You will never see me again.

Open Eyes

I can really sound obsessive at times

I like the word

intense

more.

listen(understand)listen again

i need someone to tell me that

feeling numb

is ok

and that every closed eye

isn't sleep

that all cold hands

aren't lonely

and all tears aren't

real

that words

sometimes mean speechless

and pain

sometime feels good

silence

can be overrated

and that love

is undated

heartbeats

can beat in unison

and not everyone living

is just killing time.

I just want to run, jump, freak out

get out of this body

completely free of anything

grab hands as I flee

start a riot

where to even begin

if i don't know where i stopped

YELL AS LOUD AS YOU CAN

you deserve it

I want to feel the sand

better yet

the water

see the orange moon

and hear the crickets chirp

let them sing for us

make love openly

expose it all

take mental pictures

of what freedom feels like

jump some more

lets stand on the edge and feel the rush

of what falling might feel like

i'm crazy girl

i'm crazy

Meet my new love...Lucille

Introducing my new leading lady..Lucille

We met this morning, while riding past a garage sale

She's originally from New York

born in 1968

(I like my women a little older)

and she use to deliver fresh baked bread for a living

then after moving cross country

she ended up spending most of her time

hanging out in a old barn..

that is until she met me

it was love at first sight

Sure she needed some much need

TLC

but I really couldn't imagine my life without her now

she rides so smooth,

she's really laid back

easy going too

and guess what

she'll be coming

to a city near

YOU!

I bet you're dreaming right now

I want to creep inside your mind

and completely take over

and flood your mind with thoughts

I want you to think of me constantly

I'm intense like that

Nothing scares me anymore

Other than you

yea

that's what scares me the most

see

when I close my eyes

you'll flood my mind

and hold my thoughts hostage

but I like the way it feels

I just wish you were there

because you want to be.

I ONLY WANT TO

BE THERE TO KISS YOU

AS YOU WANT TO BE KISSED

WHEN YOU NEED TO BE KISSED

WHERE I WANT TO KISS YOU

CAUSE IT'S MY HOUSE

AND I PLAN TO LIVE IN IT

Free Flow

I love the way your name flows so smoothly from my mouth, my pen, my fingertips…which leads me to daydream about how I can’t wait to lay with you and trace the outline of your lips, nose, and eyes with said fingertips. I think often, sometimes about things no one gives a damn about. Most times, I fear where my thoughts will lead me but, lately I have been allowing them to free-flow & they have been leading me straight to you. I see you here smiling at me with warm eyes. They tell me to come closer and I listen, I find myself in your arms & I feel safe here. The artist in me wants to love the artist in you: your music, my paint, your drums, my pencils, your keyboard, my brushes = us, one blank canvas with infinite possibilities.

Why do you underestimate my ability to love you?

I can relate

Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Do you miss me?
Joel: Oddly enough, I do!
Clementine: You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!
Joel: I guess so!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything, every damn, embarrassing thing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel: Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

Girl Interrupted

This week has been the most eye opening experience ever

my mom had a anxiety attack headed to work causing her to be checked into the mental institute willowbrook.

At first it was surreal..my mom was in willowbrook, I had always heard stories about the type of people that went there, and that it was for the mentally insane, but I'm proud to say that those myths couldn't be further from the truth....sorta. My mom had been suffering from depression for a while, and I guess it all just sorta caught up with her, and I'm honestly glad it did. There is this stigma that people who are depressed, or mentally unstable are different from everyone else, and its so not true. We all suffer from different things, its just that some people know how to keep it balanced better than others. While visiting my mother I met some of the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE EVER!!. I met Josh first he had been there for over a month for a addiction to riddilin, and a suicide attempt, he was obsessed with football and girls :). We would sit and talk about everything, or we just sat there quietly enjoying each others presence. Then there was Portia she was 19 and currently enrolled at the local nursing program in our town, that I might add is extremely hard to get into, and she had a 4.0 while taking on 19hrs and working a part time job. Her dad had put so much stress on her to be perfect, that she just needed a break from it all, so she took 16 pain killers, to help her self sleep..all she remembers is waking up after having her stomach pumped. Then there was Jill..my mom's roommate,she had come into town for her high school's 20th reunion, she suffered from depression and the last thing she remembers is talking to her high school crush. She was so smart, she had a PhD and knew everything about everything, she left me speechless..and lets not forget "Mrs Ceelee" she was in there because she had attempted to commit suicide 3 times, she was harder to break through, but once she opened up, you couldn't stop laughing. Next there was Natalie she had been admitted because of her addiction to prostitution, she didn't know why she did it, she just liked the way it felt. The first day I went to visit my mom, she sat quietly in a corner, sitting by herself. I could see her watching us, so I just smiled and continued to talk to my mom..a few minutes later she walked up to us, and asked "why are ya'll so happy". She seemed so sincere when she asked it, and it honestly caught me off guard. My mom just looked up and gave her the biggest smile and said"because we still have a chance" she looked at my mom and smiled back and said" I like that" and she walked away, but my favorite one would have to be Thomas, he had tried to commit suicide by shooting his self in the heart, after his wife had left him, with just a note that said "goodbye". How he had called her before he did it to let her know that he would never love anyone again, and that she would always have his heart. I was fascinated by his story, and also saddened..people are such delicate beings, and so many things can tip us over the edge. Love is such a intense feeling that no one can prepare you for, and it can be such a painful thing at times, that some feel the only way out is death.
Then there were the nurses..who acted as if they had known you forever..this one nurse told me about how when the ships went to africa to buy slaves, how they only chose the africans that were a part of royal families, how they picked the Kings and Queens of tribes. I was speechless..that meant that every single african american that were decedents of slaves came from kings and queens, and we didn't have a clue.

I learned so much in just these few days, I met so many amazing people..people who had been misunderstood, or ignored..people who were just being people. My mom had confessed to me that she had often thought about suicide, but but realized how selfish it would be, and I confessed to her that I had also had the same thoughts..and it was such a relief to tell her those things. I want to tell her more, but with time I suppose.

I realized that I could relate to every single person in there, and that I LOVE PEOPLE, I love how they confuse me, I love the way they think, I love the way we are so complex, I love everything about us. I know there are some people out there that do some horrible things, that we can't explain, but it doesn't change the fact that most of us are so special and unique..I think we're all a little off...but that's a good thing.

09/08/10

let me in right now dammit

I won't be here forever

you think of all the reasons of why you shouldn't

well guess what I could give you a million more

but that doesn't matter

because I know this is right

so stop pushing me down

I'm gonna jump if you don't stop me

not unless you jump too

you think you got me all figured out

well baby you're in for a surprise

you want to know what makes me so different

well i can't tell you why

you just have to feel it

those butterflies that you feel

when you think of me

they're trying to tell you something

just promise me you'll listen.

There's this small part of me that secretly

hopes when I click on your profile

and see your relationship status

that it will say: single

but today

it still said

'in a relationship"

guess I'll just have to

wait my turn

I've decided to check out...not sure when I'll be back

maybe when I find myself..

or when myself

finds

me.

Real Talk

"I wish I didn't get so weak, oooh baby just to hear you speak"

-

dance like no one's watching..

SHORT N SWEET (Silky Smoooooth Ishhhhh) by NI**SKY

This time around

Why DCCCD?

DALLAS COMMUNITY COLLEGE

IF YOU PUT ME ON HOLD AGAIN

I'M GONNA SCREAM

ALL LINES BUSY..

HOLD FOR ASSISTANCE..

QUE HOLD MUSIC...

yay someone finally answered..

only to be put back on hold again

this is why waiting until the last minute to do things is NOT a good idea

Late Night Conversations

Viola:

Make me a willow cabin at your gate,
And call upon my soul within the house;
Write loyal cantons of contemned love
And sing them loud even in the dead of night;
Halloo your name to the reverberate hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air cry out 'Olivia’!

ramblings of a sleepy head

"Excuse me, I noticed you had a rather large wall blocking yourself from the world, I'm just curious....Is your wall worth knocking down?"

"I want to watch the world, with the sound turned off"

untitled

as we walk blindly to our destination

complications arise

and our eyes begin to open, focused on the truth

but who is to blame for our foolishness

we scream out to the heavens asking for answers

but silence falls apon deaf ears

fears of being alone surround us

we must regroup

recoup

false idols and false gods

have consumed us

trust escaped

fate arrives

and waits patiently

blatantly rushing our time

find your inner soul

gain control

or unfold

the lines left unread

but fed the food of eagerness

unrest

just

a test of our willingness

to believe

receive what is real

and what is fake

fate awaits

it's to late

B.S

brown skin see's light

brown skin is cold

brown skin is bundled up

brown skin is old

brown skin goes home

brown skin likes to cry

brown skin is new to this

brown skin don't know why

brown skin begins to crawl

brown skin begins to jump

brown skin likes to wonder

brown skin likes to thump

brown skin is a walkin

brown skin is movin fast

brown skin is wonderin is this gonna last

brown skin wants another

brown skin to touch

brown skin begins to doubt

brown skin is enough

brown skin is afraid

brown skin begins to fade

July 8 2010

what is the point to anything anymore

we are all so lost, and so clueless

what's our purpose in it all

I have decided to only love

that is my sole mission

from this day forward

to love hard

and mean it

because I'm sure nothing else in this world really matters

so what if I get hurt, so what if someone doesn't love me back

at the end of the day, I can peacefully lay my head down

and know that I Nikki Harris made a small and maybe unnoticeable change in someones life

and it will all be worth it.

light like the sun you shine so bright

brown like the earth skin so soft

dark like the trees we start rebirth

you are my man

my life, my skin, my heart

we beat as one

beat

beat

beat

beat

we skip one together

I am so blessed to have found you

you are my man

and I am your woman

surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our life

amen.

untitled

would you go to the park with me

and sit underneath the trees

we could talk for hours

or just listen to the bees

I've been feeling awfully lonely

and my days seem really long

sitting on a bench with you could really sound like home

you say you're looking for a simple friend

who's with you all the time

well i'm here to tell you

that i'm not that hard to find

so we'll sit together at the park

and take the memories in

and once our day is over

we know that we both win!

so right now i'm watching rebel monkeys

and all i can say is wow

animals are soo amazing

which is why i spend most of my days

watching animal planet and national geographic

on constant repeat on my late night bike rides

my new home away from home

pack pack pack

stop

reminisce

gets side tracked

pack pack pack

snack break

turns into

movie break

turns into

nothing break

pack pack pack

leaves the rest for tomorrow

"moment of honesty/someones gotta take the lead tonight/who's it gonna be/i'm gonna sit right here/and tell you all that comes to me/if you have something to say/you should say it right now"

"time is only wasting/so why wait for eventually/If we gon' do something bout it/we should do it right now"

i want to cut off my hair soo bad

but can't seem to bring myself to do it

its just hair right?

Te Te

i'm really going to miss you when i leave

hearing your voice makes me feel so sad

i hope you'll one day understand why i did this

i wish i could take you with me

you don't want me to leave

but i know this is for the best

just know that i love you more than anything

and one day i'll come back for you

i'm gonna go down in history for setting all caged animals free...

you can quote me on that

N.H

somehow i know we will never be

and i find content in that

so can we just lay here and pretend

until the day ends

i can only imagine what it would be like

to be with you

i wouldn't ask for too much

just look at me

my heart can only take so much

i can only imagine what it would be like

to be in love with you

the stars would all shine for us

the moon would go on strike

just hold me

my body can only take so much

i can only imagine what it would be like

to be away from you

the world would stop turning

for a day or two

the people would stop believing

just forgive me

my mind can only take so much

i can only imagine

imagine my life with you

The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

GOODNIGHT

and

sweet dreams

Untitled

rain don't you wonder

what your purpose is

i heard they like to use you

cause you like to give

they say you've got a temper

and that you get real loud

but they don't know the difference i know that you're just proud

i love to hear you rumble

and the lights they o so bright

but sir you gotta be careful or you'll give the kids a fright

you make my eyes real heavy

and my mind it goes so slow

i wish i knew your secret in makin the earth glow

so i'll blow you silent kisses

with my arms all open wide

just make me one last promise

that you won't sleep tonight.

Ol man

where you headed

on this hot summa day

they say we got no purpose

and we neva stop to play

we've seen the bridges burnin

and the bombs they seem to fall

but they don't give no ansa when we try to call

see i been a prayin

and a layin on my knees

but my old bones ain't movin until the count of three

my skin has turnt to leatha

and the weatha ain't so nice

but when we get to heaven it's gonna be worth tha price

we'll wear our crowns and dance around and in the wind we'll sway

so ol man don't you worry no not today.

Caged bird

caged bird o caged bird

yo wings don't fly no mo

i've heard yo cries and told you lies

so yo heart won't grow

caged bird o caged bird

i feel the same as you

i glued feathers on my back and out the door i flew

i fell back down and hit the ground till i was black n blue

caged bird o caged bird

one day we'll all be free

we'll take our flight and hit the sky until we find our tree

they'll call our name and scream and shout

from our limbs we will sprout

caged bird o caged bird

when will they let us out!

The day I'll never forget

11:00 am- my dad calls to tell me the good news, everything is going as planed

11:30 am- i roll out of bed log on my computer and purchase my plane tickets

12:00 pm- so excited i don't think the day could get any better, finally things are looking up

1:00 pm- my aunt calls and ask for my dad's work number, i don't think anything about it, i continue with my day

1:15 pm- my aunt calls me back to tell me that my grandmother's health is decreasing steadily and they think she's about to pass away

1:20 pm- i don't know what to do or think, i wasn't prepaired for this, i want to cry, i begin to feel sorry for my dad, i begin to pray

1:30 pm- my mom calls to tell me she's on her way to come get me to go see my grandmother

1:40 pm- we arrive at the nursing home, we walk through the doors i begin to cry, everything seems to stand out, the sky is so blue, the birds so loud, the wind so strong, this is the day my life will change, im not ready, i curse myself mentally for being so weak, i can't go see her like this, i try to think of something to take my mind off of everything, nothing's working, i begin to cry again, i walk back outside i stare at the sun, i begin to wonder whats next, my mom comes to talk to me, but it doesn't help, i don't want to talk, i don't want to think, i want to be emotionaless, i want to feel numb

1:55 pm- i pull myself together and go see my grandmother, everyone is in there, the room feels so small, i feel closed in, she's unresponsive, i reach over to touch her hand, her skin is so cold, it doesn't feel like her anymore, i tell her i'm there, i'm unable to say anything else, i feel the tears coming, so i just stand there frozen, she begins to blink, everyone is surprised, they tell me to keep talking, so i begin to talk about my big move, how i fly out next monday, she just looks at me, she doesn't blink, i smile back at her, and tell her how much i love her, and that i'm staying

2:00 pm- my dad arrives, i want to appear strong, i try not to make eye contact with him, because when i do, i know i won't be able to control myself

2:30 pm- me and a couple family members go outside and talk, they talk about work, babies, me, but i'm unable to communicate back, where am i? why can't i talk?

2:50 pm- we go back inside, i feel this calmness over me, somethings different, i keep the feeling to myself

4:00 pm- we leave to go get a bite to eat, i tell my mom that i feel she's not going to pass today, that i don't know when, but its not today

6:00 pm- we arrive back at the nursing home, the nurse at the front desk tells us her vitals have improved and she's doing better, i turn around and smile at my mom

8:45 pm- i tell my grandmother goodbye for the night, and tell her I'll see her tomorrow, she doesn't speak, but i know she hears me

Can I talk to you?

"baby don't worry you know that you got me"

if you’re reading this, just know,

i want the best for you.

Erykah Badu

...and now they think we friends & ask u to " save them some " of YOUR chips . Now U got to monitor YO shit in order to do right by them..10:15 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
Smiles or super contagious ....But good thing they turn on and off cause some people take it as invite to try to talk to ya...and talk &..10:11 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
My off beat sense of humor matches my unorthodox but sober-minded way .9:51 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
I Love laughing ssssoooooo much.9:49 AM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
5 essential things body needs healthy dose of DAILY: 1. Sun Light 2. Water 3. Excercise 4. Rest/ Sleep 5. Spiritual Communion Fill'er Up!6:32 AM May 11th via Twitter for iPhone

"real love, i'll give it

i just need you to need me"

No surprise he leaves her/he don't need her/he just feeds her/then he beats her/he defeats her

HE COMPLETES HER

She begs frantically please don't leave me/I know you don't need me/who's gonna feed me/you deserve to beat me/just don't hate me

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MADE ME

( i really enjoy her videos because she's so honest, whether it comes out strange,weird,funny,sad..she says it

I hate the fact that some women feel they NEED to sleep with a guy to fill this missing VOID

or to fulfill whatever it is they need, 9 times out of 10 they end up hurt and vulnerable. It's like a never ending cycle. I know everyone is entitled to their opinions and everyone has their own wants and needs, but in the end we as people are all looking for the same thing. One of my favorite quotes sums it up perfectly

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness"

that is all we're looking for..a witness..someone to say Nikki I was there, I saw it all, I was there when you were at your highest points, I was there when you felt so low you didn't want to get out of bed, I was there even when you felt alone, I was there even when you wanted me to leave, I was there when you just needed someone to listen,and I will always be there, and I could never imagine being anywhere else. That is all I could ever ask for out of this life

I think society plays a huge role in what we as people expect out of others..certain things get hyped up, while others get down played.

Giving your body to someone to me is the most priceless thing you could ever do, there is no equivalent, so when you share yourself with someone you're basically saying "this is all of me, in my truest form, this is the greatest gift I have to offer you, I can only hope you will treasure it as much as I do" well thats how I feel anyway, it just seems as though people are so eager to give themselves away, and for what? I want to be selfish, and you should want the same thing....or maybe just maybe i'm living in this fantasy world..if thats the case..I never want to leave it..