Girl Interrupted

This week has been the most eye opening experience ever

my mom had a anxiety attack headed to work causing her to be checked into the mental institute willowbrook.

At first it was surreal..my mom was in willowbrook, I had always heard stories about the type of people that went there, and that it was for the mentally insane, but I'm proud to say that those myths couldn't be further from the truth....sorta. My mom had been suffering from depression for a while, and I guess it all just sorta caught up with her, and I'm honestly glad it did. There is this stigma that people who are depressed, or mentally unstable are different from everyone else, and its so not true. We all suffer from different things, its just that some people know how to keep it balanced better than others. While visiting my mother I met some of the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE EVER!!. I met Josh first he had been there for over a month for a addiction to riddilin, and a suicide attempt, he was obsessed with football and girls :). We would sit and talk about everything, or we just sat there quietly enjoying each others presence. Then there was Portia she was 19 and currently enrolled at the local nursing program in our town, that I might add is extremely hard to get into, and she had a 4.0 while taking on 19hrs and working a part time job. Her dad had put so much stress on her to be perfect, that she just needed a break from it all, so she took 16 pain killers, to help her self sleep..all she remembers is waking up after having her stomach pumped. Then there was Jill..my mom's roommate,she had come into town for her high school's 20th reunion, she suffered from depression and the last thing she remembers is talking to her high school crush. She was so smart, she had a PhD and knew everything about everything, she left me speechless..and lets not forget "Mrs Ceelee" she was in there because she had attempted to commit suicide 3 times, she was harder to break through, but once she opened up, you couldn't stop laughing. Next there was Natalie she had been admitted because of her addiction to prostitution, she didn't know why she did it, she just liked the way it felt. The first day I went to visit my mom, she sat quietly in a corner, sitting by herself. I could see her watching us, so I just smiled and continued to talk to my mom..a few minutes later she walked up to us, and asked "why are ya'll so happy". She seemed so sincere when she asked it, and it honestly caught me off guard. My mom just looked up and gave her the biggest smile and said"because we still have a chance" she looked at my mom and smiled back and said" I like that" and she walked away, but my favorite one would have to be Thomas, he had tried to commit suicide by shooting his self in the heart, after his wife had left him, with just a note that said "goodbye". How he had called her before he did it to let her know that he would never love anyone again, and that she would always have his heart. I was fascinated by his story, and also saddened..people are such delicate beings, and so many things can tip us over the edge. Love is such a intense feeling that no one can prepare you for, and it can be such a painful thing at times, that some feel the only way out is death.
Then there were the nurses..who acted as if they had known you forever..this one nurse told me about how when the ships went to africa to buy slaves, how they only chose the africans that were a part of royal families, how they picked the Kings and Queens of tribes. I was speechless..that meant that every single african american that were decedents of slaves came from kings and queens, and we didn't have a clue.

I learned so much in just these few days, I met so many amazing people..people who had been misunderstood, or ignored..people who were just being people. My mom had confessed to me that she had often thought about suicide, but but realized how selfish it would be, and I confessed to her that I had also had the same thoughts..and it was such a relief to tell her those things. I want to tell her more, but with time I suppose.

I realized that I could relate to every single person in there, and that I LOVE PEOPLE, I love how they confuse me, I love the way they think, I love the way we are so complex, I love everything about us. I know there are some people out there that do some horrible things, that we can't explain, but it doesn't change the fact that most of us are so special and unique..I think we're all a little off...but that's a good thing.